Who will save the day, in a pair of party pants? (Free leggings contest winner)
Last week I launched my new website with a contest asking, ‘If you won a pair of Revolva’s leggings, what would your resulting alter-ego be called and what would your super power be?” Who knew I would wind up assembling the team of badasses who will save our effing planet? Read on to hear about the leggings recipient – and a prize for all involved. The creativity, hilarity, honesty and word play in these entries was off the charts (read them here). Y’all renewed my faith in humanity. I figured my response blog should be in superhero style.
Earth, circa 2013 —
With the new millennium in full swing, a legion of zombies pilots the culture. Wake, commute, work, commute, TV. Under their care, the planet takes on its own zombie likeness, a veneer of animation stretched over decay. Radiation seeps into the ocean. Fracking sucks a Texas town dry of water. People grow used to saying “fracking” with a straight face, when it obviously sounds so much like – well, I mean, you know.
Who will save the day?
The zombies rustle in their sleep, until they see logos and walk back to their cubicles. Who will wake them up? Is there a symbol stronger than advertising? One that doesn’t lull folks into a trance, but instead, startles them awake? Wait! What’s that, flashing in the sky?
O
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, dumbass, it’s a circle! The seasons, twirling back year after year, and the planet spinning on its axis are witness to its power. The zombies built their roads and their time using straight lines, forgetting that at the crux of everything, life is cycling.
O
The call has gone out! Revolva rips her eyes away from the computer screen and stands unsteadily, with a suction noise. She forms her typing sticks into a fist. Yes! She bursts forth into the street. Her fingers unwind in the sunlight, wrapping around her hoop.
There they are! A circle of badasses who have also heard the call. The Twisted Gibbon, deftly jetting from flow festival to hoop class (using no fossil fuels) – in her au natural party pants. Sparkle-Seizure-Twerk-Failure, serving up a size small milkshake, on the dancefloor, like a total boss. Louisa Le Leggings, putting the V back in Vavoom with the brilliant third person detective story-style confidence. TINK, who navigates the streets of Tokyo in her own sparkling fashion district: population one.
Ah, wait, there are more. The alien-infused homeboy with impossibly smooth legs: JOY. And Li’l Snowflake, the bringer of bling (whose superhero name Revolva can not even think of without smiling). RoBat, helping others through a portal into their own power. Rhonda, traveling to her high school reunion on the noble mission to “fractal” in the face of haters. The sizzling temptress Tightanium, teasing the world with her irresistible tickle. And of course, because all superhero crews need a dynamic duo, Wilderness Picnic Hoop Woman and Tempeh, a dog so advanced that he has already learned how to fashion “Warrior Within” style costumes.
At the center of the superhero circle, a pair of party pants descends from a spiraling tornado of glory – into the hands of the crime-fighting bard, Hoopoetry. Her creative use of a formal structure, mixed with party-time glitter, has won her the party pants. In a clear voice, she reads her work:
Fancy Pants Pantoum
Home from work, she slips them on.
A universe hugs her legs, spins
circles of galactic cheer.
Her inner space sings outer space.
A universe hugs her legs, spins
nebulas of ideas in her mind.
Her inner space sings outer space.
She transforms into Hoopoetry.
Nebulas of ideas in her mind –
the birth place of a star!
She transforms into Hoopoetry –
loosens the tidal forces of the daily,
turns the dullest dust into smiling
circles of galactic cheer.
Home from work, she slips them on.
Inspired by her words, Revolva and the Super Hooper crew don their own fancy pants, gather their unique voices and hoops, and set off into the world. Their mission? Expression. Spinning in a circle and talking about joy seems harmless enough to those in power. After all, it’s a child’s toy, right? What the zombie leaders don’t know is that – children are the ones who haven’t yet fallen asleep!
Dun-dun-DUN!!!! TO BE CONTINUED …
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Congratulations to everyone who entered this contest. You proved that you’ve maintained your sense of childlike creativity by spending a moment playing with words. It takes monumental strength to let go of what we’ve been taught all of our lives – that art and play are for kids, and that adults should “grow up” and shut down.
Keep making art, with your body and your mind! It’s your own original state, and waking up to it can help transform this culture. And save the world.
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In summary
The leggings go to:Jenny Hill for “Fancy Pants Pantoum” – I was tickled to see such a formal structure filled with such sparkling words about leggings. It was hella hard to choose a “winner,” but the mix of form and glitter in this one stood out. Enjoy your fancy pants, Jenny!
10% off in the Rock Store (because these were such badass entries that ALL y’all deserve party pants) goes to: Everyone who entered – I wish I had enough stock or enough savings to just give you all a pair of free leggings. In lieu of that, I totally want to reward the epic amount of creativity you all displayed with a discount for the superhero crew only. Superheroes, please email me at revolvahoopdance@gmail.com, and I will reply with your discount code. Use it any time you wish – now, or when new stock comes in the future.
Thank you all for helping me launch my website! Look for more creative exercises on future blogs.
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